Philippians 4:4-7; 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
This is Grumpy Dog.
Grumpy Dog belonged to my mom. I bought Grumpy Dog for her during one of her many hospital stays while she was battling cancer. I had wandered into the gift shop one day on the way up to her room, and this guy was on display in the window. I saw the look on his face, and it was exactly the same look on my mom’s face the day before. I had to have him. So I bought Grumpy Dog, and Grumpy Dog went with my mom to the hospital every time after that. In fact, she left him in her overnight bag so that she wouldn’t forget to take him with her. He would rest on the pillow next to her. And when my mom died, Grumpy Dog came to live with me.
I’ve been feeling a little bit like Grumpy Dog looks lately. It’s been a long, brutal, painful, different kind of year. Between the hurricanes, tornadoes, wildfires, and, of course, the COVID-19 pandemic, along with social unrest and political turmoil, I feel battered and bruised and raw, and my emotions run from grief to anger to fear and back again. It’s hard to get in the right mood for Thanksgiving. And it is especially difficult for me and Pennie and her family, because of her stepdad’s passing away last week from COVID-19.
Amy Sargent writes on her blog, Times are tough. The fear, uncertainty, and sense of a loss of control over life as you once knew it can feel overwhelming … The loss that people are experiencing seems to be present at every level. You may have lost your job. You may have lost a loved one. You may have lost your social life. You may have lost your confidence in leadership. You may have lost your ability to get out and exercise at your favorite gym or enjoy a meal at your favorite restaurant … All that loss can leave you feeling discontent and discouraged, and a far cry from feeling thankful. So how are you supposed to feel thankful when everything’s gone wrong?
And yet, here we are. Thanksgiving is here, whether or not we are ready for it. Giving thanks is an ancient tradition, with roots that go back thousands of years. Dr. Michael Fishman, a physician at Boston University Medical Center, writes about how giving thanks is one of the oldest concepts in society. In Judaism, there were the sacrificial thank offerings proscribed in the Torah, as well as daily blessings to be recited, particularly at mealtime. In Christianity, we have the Eucharist, which literally means “thanksgiving.” I’m sure that in the years of history covered by our Bible, there were many times that the people within its stories didn’t feel like giving thanks, either. Like Abraham and Sarah, who remained childless into their 90s. Or like the Hebrew people living in slavery. Or Moses trying to lead an obstinate and stubborn and headstrong people to a new land. Or the prophets who were sent to try and convince wicked people to change their ways. Or the Israelites living in exile in a foreign land after having been conquered and seen their Temple destroyed. And yet, people did give thanks. They offered prayers of gratitude. There were good times, occasions and experiences and relationships which called forth thankfulness.
I think it is important to note what Paul does NOT say in Philippians or 1 Thessalonians. Paul does NOT say to be thankful FOR every situation. Paul does NOT say to be thankful FOR all circumstances. Paul says to be thankful IN every situation and IN all circumstances. There is a big difference between the two. Of course, we are not going to be thankful FOR wildfires or hurricanes or COVID-19. But we can and must be thankful IN these experiences of 2020.
In fact, it is in just such times as these that we most need to rediscover an attitude of gratitude within our hearts and minds. Dr. Fishman writes, During moments of crisis such as the COVID-19 pandemic, a grateful perspective is critical to sustain our positive attitude – to energize, to heal, and to bring hope. He states that positive emotions such as gratitude promote health and wellness. Being grateful helps us cope with anxiety and uncertainty, by focusing our attention on what we value, what is in our control, and what we can give back.
Robert A. Emmons, a psychology professor at UC-Davis, is regarded as an expert on gratitude. He and his colleague, Michael E. McCullough, have discovered five ways that giving thanks is actually good for you. First, it boosts your health. Grateful people have less depression and stress, lower blood pressure, more energy, and greater optimism. Second, gratitude can slow down the aging process. A daily practice of gratitude slows down some of the effects of neurodegeneration. Third, being grateful reduces our level of stress. Cortisol is known as the stress hormone; when the body produces too much of it, it depletes our immune system and raises blood sugar levels. Positive emotions like gratitude can significantly lower the levels of cortisol. Fourth, gratitude leads to better relationships. It increases the production of oxytocin, the bonding hormone. That fosters a sense of calm and security in our relationships. And fifth, gratitude is good for the heart and for our waistline. Expressing gratitude can reduce our systolic blood pressure by 10% and decrease our dietary fat intake by 20%. That’s no small result!
So how can we help ourselves feel more thankful? What can we do to improve our level of gratitude?
We can try several things. One popular method is to keep a grateful journal. Each day, write down at least one thing that you were thankful for that day. These can be big or small things. One HR manager asked his employees to share what they were thankful for. Their answers included: family, friends, work colleagues, health, job, medical providers, grocery stores, honesty and decency, hope, the kindness of others, home, food, good coffee and even better chocolate, God, first responders, farmers and ranchers, opportunities to serve others, neighbors, pets, education, scientists, teachers, medicine, and laughter. If you were to share just one thing you are thankful for today, what would it be?
Second, you might try using the words “thank you” more often in your daily lives. Thank the young person who holds the door open for you, or the delivery driver who drops off your package from Amazon. Send a thank you note to your child’s or grandchild’s teacher. Thank the grocery store cashiers and baggers for being there every day doing their jobs. It’s such an easy thing to say, and can mean so much, not only to the person you thank, but also to you, as you realize how many things there are to be thankful for in our daily lives.
Third, you might pay more attention to the little things and savor them. What objects in your home bring you pleasure? Maybe it’s the silly brass donkey you bought at the gift shop at the Grand Canyon. Maybe it’s your family Bible. Maybe it’s a musical instrument or book. Maybe it’s a kitchen object or hand tool. Maybe it’s a favorite dish that your spouse cooks for you. Maybe it’s the smell of that autumn candle you light each evening. Or the crackling of the fire in the fireplace. Or the warmth of the dog or cat on your lap. Take time to cherish and be grateful for the small things in life. Because they are really the big things in life.
Fourth, you can share a positive story with a friend. When you relive a pleasant event or enjoyable trip or delicious meal, you feel the good feelings all over again as you tell someone else about it. And you are probably giving them a pick-me-up as well, because they may be remembering similar experiences they have had.
And last, but not least, find some way to put your gratitude into action. Give back to your community. Donate food or money to a local food pantry. Volunteer to go grocery shopping for an elderly neighbor or friend. Offer help over the holidays to an essential worker or a new mom. Give to the charity of your choice. You might think of donating to UMCOR or buying a food card at Hannafords that provides meals in our local area. Find ways to offer your support to essential workers and first responders. Maybe offer to donate a meal to your local fire department or police department. Send a meal to the family of an essential worker. Make a sign thanking them and put it in your yard or window. Leave snacks or drinks on the porch for the delivery drivers. You could reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a while, through text or email, a phone call or snail mail. You could set up a Thanksgiving zoom with your loved ones, so that even if you can’t be together in person, you can celebrate together virtually.
Paul’s word to us in Philippians and 1 Thessalonians is clear: we are to give thanks at all times and in all circumstances. There are no exceptions or loopholes here; Paul really means what he says. It may be harder than usual to give thanks this year. But it is possible to have gratitude in our hearts. For a person of faith, there is always something to be thankful for. Because, at the least, we are thankful for our God and for all that God has done for us.
I don’t know what your Thanksgiving Day will look like this year. But I hope and pray that you will take the time to truly give thanks. Instead of thinking of all that we don’t have, we can think about all that we do have. And we can cling to the steadfast love of God as we struggle to do the holidays differently, as we have had to do everything else this year. As my Grandmother Smith would say, “This too shall pass.” Things will get better. And in the meantime, I am grateful for so much more than I am missing. So prepare the feast. Enjoy the company of whoever you are sharing your meal with. And give thanks – always.
