Philippians 4:1-9 (MSG)

The college football season is heating up, with more and more rivalry games being played, leading up to the week of Thanksgiving, when the greatest of those games are usually played.  This past weekend we had the Red River Rivalry game between Texas and Oklahoma.  But we have yet to see the Iron Bowl (Auburn vs. Alabama), the in-state rivalry games (Georgia vs. Georgia Tech, Clemson vs. South Carolina, UNC vs. NC State, USC vs. UCLA).  One sportswriter said, “If your family [survives] the political arguments over the Thanksgiving table and disagreements about decorating the Christmas tree, this display of division and antagonism can finish you off, sending family members to their respective corners refusing to speak to each other until the whole process starts over again at the next family get together.” (Lance Elliott Wallace)

I wish that sports rivalries were all that were dividing people up into separate camps these days.  But we know that this only scratches the surface of the deep feelings that have pushed and pulled people apart over the past few years.  Deep political divisions have become apparent, with issues surrounding the COVID pandemic stirring embers into flames.  And on everything from immigration to abortion to what books can be on the shelves of libraries to what teachers can teach about American history, we have reached and remained at the boiling point for months, maybe years.   You might find yourself asking, “Why can’t we all just get along?”

If you’re so inclined, there’s even a card game called “Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?” that is readily available from Amazon.  It includes 100 cards with 500 questions on religion and politics.  The idea is to get people talking about important topics so that they can learn how to disagree and still get along with each other.  The ad on the website says, “Learning how to discuss important core values and beliefs without defensiveness, judgment, or anger can be challenging to master.  [This card game] is a way to start the conversation with an open mind.  Listen and be heard.  And finally answer the question, why can’t we all just get along?”  Sample questions included:  What is the ideal political structure for you?  How do you mourn loved ones?  Discuss if there should be limits of free speech.  What action have you been waiting to take?  I can just imagine how this game would play out at any gathering of my extended family! 

Some of you may have heard the question, “Why can’t we all just get along?” and been taken back to May 1, 1992.  It was a few days after the verdict had come in on the Rodney King trial.  You might remember that King had been involved in a high-speed chase with police in Los Angeles.  When the police finally pulled him over, four officers pulled him out of his car and beat him brutally.  An amateur cameraman caught it all on tape.  The officers were charged with assault with a deadly weapon and excessive use of force.  But after a three-month-long trial, a predominantly white jury acquitted the officers, which triggered violent riots.  For six days beginning on April 29, 1992, the riots went on, and ended up with 63 people killed, more than 2,300 injured, 12,000 arrested and about $1 billion in property damage.  On May 1, Rodney King appeared at a press conference, pleading for the rioting to end.  He asked, “People, I just want to say, can’t we all get along?  Can’t we all get along?”

There is some research that seems to indicate that, no, we can’t all just get along.  According to psychologists, people tend to divide themselves into ingroups and outgroups.  We tend to favor people in our ingroups; it is in our human nature.  One scientist wrote, “Once we are entrenched within a particular group, our minds become so fundamentally shaped by our partisanship that it can become truly impossible to understand how people in other groups can think and feel as they do.  These ‘empathy gaps’ often lead us to conclusions that outgroup members must be stupid or evil.”  (Joshua Rottman)

But I would beg to differ with these conclusions.  I believe that we CAN all get along, but it doesn’t just happen all by itself.  It is something we have to work at.  It is so challenging that it requires us to step up in faith and determine that we will get along with each other. 

I think about Paul’s reference in Philippians to the two women, Euodia and Syntyche, who were having some kind of ongoing quarrel.  He doesn’t make any reference to what they disagreed about, perhaps because it didn’t make any difference to him.  It was certainly something serious for Paul to have concerned himself with it in this letter.  But he didn’t even make any reference to the issue at hand.  That didn’t matter.  What mattered to Paul was that they set aside their differences and learn to get along with each other.  As Eugene Peterson words it in The Message, they were to iron out their differences and make up because God didn’t want his children holding grudges. 

There are some direct comments and some less direct about how people learn to get along.  We are to stay on track and not waver; in other words, we are to practice our faith faithfully.  We are to celebrate God all day every day, reveling in God.  Can you imagine reveling in God?  What would that look like to you?  For me it would have to involve music and nature.  Paul advised the Christians in Philippi to not fret or worry, but in place of worrying they should pray.  It’s really hard to maintain an argument with someone when you’re in a spirit of prayer!  And if we shape our worries into prayers, even those worries about things we disagree about, then the issues will begin to resolve.  It is important to let God know about our concerns.  Trying to hide any disagreements or quarrels or failures to communicate with others will become a wall between us and God.  Instead, it is important to be honest and open in our conversations with our Creator.  And when we do all of these things – none of them simple or easy or even natural – then we will begin to have a sense of everything – and everyone – coming together for good.  Christ will displace worry – and disagreements – at the center of our lives.

Paul then goes on to recommend things we might think about instead of our disagreements:  things that are true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, and gracious.  We are to focus on the best, not the worst; on the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.  And the God who makes everything work together will work us into his most excellent harmonies.  Harmony only occurs when there is more than one note being played; we aren’t meant to all have the same opinions on every subject, but our disagreements can produce a tolerance for the opinions of others that will lead to harmony between us.

That is what being in relationship with other people, especially Christians, should look like: harmony.  Diversity and differences, but not divisiveness or becoming entrenched.  We should learn now to iron out the troubles between ourselves and make up with anyone we have fallen out with.  We should give up our childish desire to hold grudges and become mature Christians able to work hand in hand as hard as anyone for the sake of the kingdom of God.  And we should celebrate God all day every day as one community of faith made up of different churches, in different denominations and different countries around the world.  Perhaps if all the Christians could learn how to get along, we could be a powerful witness to the rest of the world.

So as the college football rivalry period moves forward, let me say that I think you should cheer for your team with as much energy and pride and support that you have in you.  But, as the sportswriter says, “when the final whistle blows, adopt the spirit of sportsmanship that we teach kids in little league.  And if you can’t congratulate your opponent with a handshake, maybe you should hug it out.  That’ll help clear the air so that y’all can be in the same room at Christmas.”